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How to speak n00b - Episode 04: Like Jane Goodall

In our on going research series on the infamous n00b species, we decided that it might be educational to actually attempt to enter their society disguised as one of their own. In this way, we could gain new understanding as to their social hierarchy.

Also, it should be good for a giggle.

Our intrepid researcher first fashioned a n00b disguise. As he was a level 12 WAR, he of course subbed his level 3 whm and donned two Eremite's Rings, his starting RSE armor, and a scythe (for a n00b ritual known as "Ibeedurklatur"). Sufficiently n00bized, we observed from a short distance as our researcher joined a small herd of n00bs in Valkurm Dunes.

Attention: this researcher has studied the n00b language extensively. Do not try this at home.
Researcher>> OMGLOLORZ u needz a tank! (english: rather than ask if you need someone of my job class, I shall assume I am needed)
N00b1>> u r war/whm!!! dood, we gotz a pld! (english: by examining you job and subjob choices, I have decided that you might be a welcome addition to our team)
N00b2>> kewl!!! (english: hooked on phonics worked for me!)
Researcher>> Where's camp? (english: where's camp?)
N00b1>> wut? (english: Ironically, I do not understand what you just said)
Researcher>> were iz camp 2? (english: where's camp?)
N00b1>> pugz buy beach (english: I'm a masochist)
N00b2>> pugz is sweet xp!!! (english: I'm a moron)
Researcher>> rn't pugz a little too tuff? (english: if I'm not mistaken, we're going to get gang raped by ugly fish)

At this point in the interaction, N00b1, the party leader, takes this as challenge to his leadership. In order to maintain his status in the group, he defends his idea in a logical and intelligent manner.
N00b1>> STFU!!! PUGZ IZ GUD XP!!11! (english: are you certain? My Brady Guide says pugils are a good target)

Our researcher, not to be frightened off, reflects upon his years of study into n00b culture and chooses a response that accurately reflects his respect and succinctly explains his own position.
Researcher>> ur mom!!! (english: no, no, my friend. I believe pugils may be above our level)
N00b1>> U R TEH N00b!!11one1eleven!! (english: I was scared by a grammar book as a child)

It was at this point that our researcher suffered a brain aneurism and died.

Today's lesson: Parting with n00bs will cause you to die. Painfully. Very painfully. Like a white hot poker jammed into your brain.

Die.


Updated 2008-09-27 20:24:36