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How to speak n00b - Episode 08: The Regressive N00b

Among the n00b species, there is a very odd variation known as the Regressive N00b (latin name: Thesis Misub).

Occasionally, a more experienced player will regress backwards into n00b tendencies while attending to lower level tasks. They get disoriented by the change in role (and also shiny objects), and take on the behavioral traits of the more common n00b.

Luckily, we have managed to capture a regressive n00b for study.

Well… by capture, we mean that we went to Kazham and just ended up with one. It happens a lot.

Let's take a look at a common exchange with a regressive n00b:
Player1: Guys, I found a WAR/MNK
Player1: {Hello!} {Nice to meet you.}
RegressiveN00b: hi
Player2: umm… why are you wearing lizard gear?
Player1: And you're using a dagger?!
RegressiveN00b: o thesis misub

We are not quite certain why the Regressive n00b repeats their own latin name, but it appears to be a common part of their language as they repeat it as a defense to any of their actions.
Player1: You don't have Cure II?
RegressiveN00b: thesis misub
(Translation: I apparently do not understand how the "party" system works and assume that you will allow me to leech exp from you. I am a plague on both you and society in general.)

Player1: Why are you using a scythe?
RegressiveN00b: thesis misub
(Translation: It took me long enough to learn how to use this weapon. I'm not learning another one.)

Player1: Why are you not wearing pants?
RegressiveN00b: I'm a moron
RegressiveN00b: … and thesis misub
(Translation… no, that's a pretty good translation right there. They're morons.)

It seems that when regressive n00bs take part in lower level tasks, they like to increase the challenge by not using the correct equipment, food, spells, or prerequisite grammar.

Now, it should be pointed out that normal players will not regress in such a fashion. The individual must be a member of the n00b species (no matter how well disguised) in order to regress like this.


Updated 2008-09-27 20:25:18